So I’ve decided to continue on this journey discussing weight loss, lap bands, and my own personal struggles with fitness. This post will be far more light hearted — but still a moment of honest from myself to anyone who can identify. I promise eventually I will write about wedding planning, cooking dinner, and hard hitting politics. But for now, it seems as if people may want to hear about the imperfect journey of a weight loss patient, fitness instructor, and fellow human being.
Okay, here it is.
I hate water. Yes yes I know — water is the giver of life! It’s necessary! It’s wonderful! People in third-world countries are dying to have safe clean drinking water, and here in the US we are paying for over priced bottles of tap water. Yet that still does not change the issue that — I hate drinking it.
Yesterday morning, I made the concerted effort to drink two cups of water before I ate anything. As I have covered in the previous posting, I cannot drink and eat simultaneously. So I have to plan out not only my food consumption, but my liquids as well. So here I am guzzling this big orange vessel of water. Just being salty about it all. First off, even water can get “stuck” in the band. Many bandsters will “prime” their band in the morning with warm liquids like that AM cup of joe. However, I was trying to be good to my body and drink some water. Not fair! I try to do something good — and bam it goes all awry. Second, I really would have rather had that nice cup of joe. Or a Coke Classic (no Pepsi for this southern girl!). I love my caffeine and I love my sugar. I am a PhD student — I NEED caffeine and sugar to survive this mad mad world of academia. Water gives me neither of these. It has nada, zip, nothing in there to stimulate the body.
Now don’t go giving me this — water will wake you up! Water IS energizing, Ashley — brough haha. I say that those water factoids is a load of crap just like the mythological “runners high”. But I digress.
So then I drink my two cups, track them in my Weight Watchers tracker app, and begin to try to eat a nice bowl of oatmeal made with some Vanilla Almond milk and just a pinch of pumpkin pie spice. What do you know — the water starts to battle the oats! I am just eating oatmeal for goodness sake! Left up to me, and if the band would shut up, I would have been eating fluffy pancakes if I could! But I was being good and eating oatmeal. And the water fought it. Thankfully both stayed down, and I ran off to the automotive dealership for my oil change.
While there I take advantage of their free bottled water, and set to work on cups 3 & 4 of the daily intake. Then oatmeal rears her ugly head AGAIN! Come on now! I have avoided the soda machine, I’m not eating the delicious candy bars they had out, I passed on the free hot chocolate machine — and now the oatmeal wants to fight the next round of water. Can you see how this becomes exhausting?!
So not only do I not really like water, but then it wants to fight the rest of my digestion system (as medically messed-up as it is) for power and control. Like water is the Cobra Commander trying to take total control over my stomach (if you do not know who the Cobra Commander is…well I’m just saddened, and apparently older than you). Come on now — sharing is caring water!
So does anyone out there have any advice on how a sister can get more H2O in? Cause this is for the birds — and will cause me to laps back into my old ways where liquids came in Starbucks cups and soda cans with the quickness….