Wedding Bells: Date? What Date?

I think that one of the hardest things that my fiance and I have had to do is choose a wedding date.  Your date means something.  Your date can rule whether people can attend or not.  Your date pegs you into the season, theme options (beach wedding in the snow? maybe, but far more difficult to pull off), weather for the event, venue…..your date is just plan old important.

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So how do dates stack up?  The Knot has a whole article about how to choose the best wedding date for your nuptials.  They break it down into: Symbolism, Season, Price, Holiday, VIP Preference, and No-No Days.  For some couples, they may want to pick their first date, or the first time they said “I love you”.  Perhaps even to get married on a special birthday, or event date.  Some couples really look at seasons — they want an outdoor beach wedding in the Summer, or a wintery wedding in December.  Price is a big factor to most brides, smaller to some.  Getting married in the “high” season of your venue can really increase your costs, over getting marred perhaps in say November.  Some couples want a swanky New Years Eve soire, or a family-friendly 4th of July BBQ.  For others, having Aunt Genni and Uncle Lou who are school teachers there is far more important than anything else — so they may plan dates around school breaks to ensure their presence.  Finally, there are some “no-no” dates.  The Knot talks about avoiding the weekend before Tax Day if one of the couple is an accountant, or for us attorneys out there — right before the end of the fiscal year with billable hours due.

The most popular wedding months are June, August, and September.  October is also a up and comming contestant, and the old school May is still hanging in there.  Even day’s of the week can matter.  Saturday nights are prime, so if you can have a Sunday AM brunch — you might save a few bucks.  Even more if you have a Wednesday night soire, or a Thursday lunch wedding.

So what is a bride and groom to do?  My fiance and I didn’t really have a special date.  He asked me to marry him 2 hours before what we have picked as our “anniversary” — April 1st (so he can’t forget) [he asked on March 31st so as to prevent the dreaded April Fools joke proposal assumption].  But my mom’s birthday is April 2nd, and we didn’t really want a Spring wedding.  There is always the Summer  — which time wise works well for me since I am a student.  But my man and his baby brother begin to sweat if you look at them funny, and I have no desire to have two sweaty men in photos.  I also never desired an outdoor wedding (bugs, heat, weather…too much), so Summer wasn’t very attractive.  So for my wedding — that left us with Fall and Winter.

Well, both of those seasons can be good and bad.  September would be more expensive due to its popularity.  December has many birthdays (like my own) and holiday’s in it for our families.  It think January is just awkward since people are trying to recover from December Holidays.  And February is too cliche.  So that left October and November.

I sat down with the chiar of my department, who thankfully has girls himself, to try and sort this all out.  I need to know what semesters would be easiest for me to disappear mentally and physically.  By the time I had gotten engaged, I was also deep into PhD applications — and once I decided to stick with my department, I arranged a meeting to try and figure out my course/dissertation trajectory.  Fall 2012 was out — since that would be (1) close to my engagment for me and (2) I would be trying to start the PhD program AND finish the MPA program.  Trust me — last semester was a doozie.  I’m thrilled I wasn’t getting married then as well.  Spring would have been fine, but we came to the realization that Fall 2013 may work very well.  It would most likely be light in course work — I may take Qualifying Exams the next spring, but that’s okay.

So I went back to my man and proposed October or November 2013.  He settled on October 2013, towards the tail end.  We used the date as a test date for a while — and then decided that that date was as good as any.  It has no particular significance, other than it works with my school schedule and our desire to not have the fiance melting as he says “I Do”.  We like fall, but we aren’t die hard leaf-change watchers.  The prices of many of the venues that we assessed only changed if you did a Sunday wedding, or a Thursday wedding — not so much with seasons.  And our VIP’s would be there no matter what — as long as it wasn’t a Thursday wedding or a Sunday wedding.  So we chose a nice, nondescript Saturday.

So how did you choose your wedding date?

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3 thoughts on “Wedding Bells: Date? What Date?

  1. now we have to pick a date! We are thinking october 2014 definitely. But not sure which Saturday yet. I’ll ahve to read that Knot article! Thank you so much for sharing!

    • So far I think that the date is one of the hardest things to pick! Good that you know the month already. Here in my little old Virginia Town there were venues that were nearly booked solid in October 2013 by Summer 2012! I found that the later in October it is (like my date) the more options you had in some respects. Keep me posted, and good luck!

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