I struggle with this on a regular bais. 325lb+ me would have been elated to be the size that I am. Thanks to fitspo, thinspo, and even people in my life who talk about my size and weight — I am always trying to be thinner and fitter. Not for me, not in a health way — but to “fit in”. Thanks to Kate for putting my feelings into words.
I’ve been a larger person for the great majority of my life. I’ve never experienced being someone who has teeny little invisible-to-others flaws they pick apart in the mirror. In fact, for most of my adult life I thought it would just be fantastic to wear a size 14 so I could shop somewhere that sold clothes I liked. I never coveted a “thigh gap” or a stomach with so little fat you could see my abdominal muscles. I thought it would be great if my thighs didn’t chafe when I walked from all the rubbing.
The closest I ever got to the nit-picking your body phase was at the end of my weight-loss and the year that followed. I flew past original goals, to wear that size 14 and be able to walk anywhere I wanted to without getting out of breath or chafing my thighs. I was wearing…
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