Southern Wedding Bells: Gift or Not to Gift — that is the Question

I ran across a very interesting article on the Daily Worth: http://www.dailyworth.com/posts/1893-how-much-should-you-spend-on-a-wedding-gift. The article discusses how much one can spend on a wedding gift. The writer lives in New York City — so on average she may provide the Bride and Groom with $200-$400 dollars in CASH. *faints*

Perhaps I’m just too much of a Southerner — but if my fiance and I receive ONE check that large I may faint right then and there. I’ve stocked my gift registries [which is a whole other post] with requests ranging from $5 to $150 (a Shark Steam Mop), and more on the $5 side. The registries constantly yell at me to add more gifts, to add more in the upper price range, so on. I was quite frankly shocked. We also have a registry for home items (I mean we are grown-ass people who not only own a home (it came with my fiance) but own dishes and toasters — what we need is a new fridge and washing machine in reality) and for our honeymoon that splits large ticket items such as the stove I am lusting after [Isn’t it gorgeous?! ] in to much smaller shares (the stove is set up in $10.25 shares). However, we expect most folks will purchase a tangible gift (as is the norm here below the Mason Dixon) and that the average gift cost might be $25-$50.

I also recently read about a bride who sent a nasty letter to a guest because of the price of the gift ($100 in cash) did not cover her per person costs. Am I alone in thinking this is insanity? If you want a $200 per person wedding, then that’s what you expect to pay for with NO recouping of your funds. The wedding dinner, party, cocktail hour, whatever is your “gift” to your invited wedding guests for their attendance at your special day. You, you and your boo-boo, or your parents (or his parents) agree to foot that bill. If you want punch and cake at $15 per person, then go that route — but if you want fancy fancy then expect to pay.

Overall I just simply do not expect to receive an expensive present from everyone at my wedding. Heck, some of them may not bring a present at all (although a card would be nice so I’ll have a remembrance of your attendance!) and that is just fine. We want to eat, drink, and be married in front of our friends and family! No gift required! However, if you do bless us with a present — please please do not buy me a toaster — we have two. Seriously. No toasters allowed!

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4 thoughts on “Southern Wedding Bells: Gift or Not to Gift — that is the Question

  1. L.E. Carruba says:

    When my sister got married, she barely filled out any of her registry, knowing people would just give them things whether they wanted or needed them. I agree with you about the “two grown-ups assembling a household” thing.

    • For a while my registry was pretty empty. However then I decided there were plenty of little inexpensive things I could add to give folks who actually use the registry some options. I am just excited to see folks, so gifts aren’t necessary 🙂

      • L.E. Carruba says:

        Oh, I am so late responding to this. ><;;

        My partners are getting married next year and they decided to solicit donations to a charity for children on their invitations rather than put together a registry. (My boyfriend is strongly anti-tchotchke and I don't think the kitchen can hold many more gadgets.)

        I hope your wedding is a grand and beautiful success! 🙂

  2. Tara says:

    The thing you learn on the other side of the registry is that you really do think about the person that got you that almost every time you use the thing (or in the case of towels/ sheets every time you wash them). The registry is the most awesome time to dream though…(spoken from the proud owner of cloth napkins. I love cloth napkins but I would never buy them for myself, thanks wedding registry)

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