I’m done dieting and obsessing over working out. Yep, I said it. I know this will come as a shock to some people, but I usually do not get that euphoric high from working out. I do not bound delightfully to the gym, excited for todays adventures in spinning or running. If I am running, the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us and you should run in the same direction.
In addition, I enjoy eating the following on a regular basis: Bread; Cheese (Saga Blue Brie is my favorite); Butter; Ice Cream; Milk. Normally regular Coke Classic would e on my list but I’ve been off the Coca-Cola Classic Crack for a week..and it is PAINFUL! #thestruggle
However, the point is that I don’t want a diet filled with only one type of food, that restricts other types that I really adore, or that fills me full of tastebud altering chemicals that mimic what I really want to be eating (Fat-Free Cheese is the devil….just saying). In fact, it may be surprising to find out that I typically don’t even eat enough already. What?! A woman who is larger than a size 4 does not eat 500 thousand calories a day to get that way?! Yes, folks! It’s true. I have to work to eat 1,660 calories in a day, which is what myfitnesspal says I should be eating. Sometimes I make it, sometimes I exceed it, but most days I’m well under.
Normally I am a worry wart about my weight. I worry when I eat, I worry when I don’t work out. I worry when a pair of pants fits a little too snugly. I hate shopping some days. However, what really bothers me is that I am NOT worried because of my health. I am worried because I have learned to covet every scrap of real and faux approval I get due to my size. Very murmur that I am thin, small, fit, pretty, so on. Each and every morsel of approval I pocket and keep for a rainy day. Since honestly, I’m a former fat kid — and its nice for someone to say more than “You have a pretty face.”
But kids, its HARD keeping up appearances. When I go into Fall exams, I always gain weight — and get sick. That time is the worse — so I’m fat AND sick. What? I’m exhausted, I’m stressed, I’m worried about grades, and then someone comes up and mentions that I’ve put on a little weight. Ya’ll better be glad that I want to run for office someday and can’t cut you….